i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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