Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
