I'm so fucking centered right now
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
