Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
false alarm. still invincible.
My balls are so social today.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
