Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
