Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
