carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
