i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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