Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
