I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
