You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
