Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
