My hair reeks of homosexuality.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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