every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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