My friends, they love my intelligence
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize