ugly people sure do ruin things
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
