weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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