i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
