I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
