One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
