just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
it was like eating out sand paper
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
