I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
