we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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