Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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