i barfeds in our rink
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
