haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
