is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize