nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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