On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
