new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
