I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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