Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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