My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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