she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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