ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
