Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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