I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
