This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
