forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
