I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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