Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
