Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
