we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
