the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
