ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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