Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
