she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
