i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
