I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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