lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
