It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
