Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
