Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
