just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
