I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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