It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Randomize
