capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
