Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
