she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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