Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
